he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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