if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
