A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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