Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
