What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I checked into jail on foursquare
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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