i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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