do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
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