I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
