Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
