We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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