I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
