I understand Curling. That high.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
