My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
