I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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