nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
it's like heaven, but drunker
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I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
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They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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