Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Is Oprah even human
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
