I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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