Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Randomize
