All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
