is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
