I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
