is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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