i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
