Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
