if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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