you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
