We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
