Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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