just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The feeling are messing with the penis
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize
