shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
