I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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