It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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