i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My breasts were aching with rage.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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