The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I think people are normalizing furries
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
