Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
