Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Randomize
