Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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