so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
