So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
