am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
