Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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