so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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