ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
