Do vagina's smell?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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