apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Everclear isn't food dammit
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
