a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
