Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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