I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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