yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
