Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
