I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
