I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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