Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
