I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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