It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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