I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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