I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
