I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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