When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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