Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I came so hard my ears popped.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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